


The Choice

by tacker23



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 16:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12708306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacker23/pseuds/tacker23
Summary: “Let the past die…” I turn to face him, placing my hand on his face as I traced his scar. The scar I gave him.  “Kill it, if you have too.” I felt his love grow with each and every word said. “That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”Inspired by the Last Jedi trailer





	The Choice

In a low lit vast bedroom,  I stood tall and self-assured as I gazed down on the city below me in the twilight of day. My chestnut hair fanned out loose and wavy, framing my commanding face.

I started to think back on when my life had truly began,.... not too long ago, when I stumbled upon a droid on that hell hole of a planet I had apparently wasted my life on….

_I sat, alone and isolated, on the leg of my ancient, fallen AT-AT…. the small cramped place that had few things I kept…… the place I called home._

_Sitting outside my home, I wore my oversized rebellion helmet, and felt the weight of my loneliness in the silence of the desert…._

_While swallowing this feeling, I heard a distant electronic squeal and it instantly stole my attention._

_Wanting to save the droid,_ _I ripped off my rebellion helmet. I heard another beeping squeal and I hurried to my quarterstaff and ran off in the direction of the sound._

_I climbed a dune and saw Teedo. A small, brutish reptilian desert tyrant. He is one the many scavengers who fight to survive on this hot planet._

_I saw BB-series astromech droid in clear distress…. something I can relate to...but it was fighting back._

_Seeing that I decided to jump in and save the droid from the desert tyrant I hated._

_I got there as Teedo started yelling at the droid struggling to free itself. With my quarterstaff drawn I yelled. “Tal'ama parqual!”_

_Teedo and the droid, went silent, and turned to me…._

_“Parqual zatana!” I shouted again. Teedo yelled a threat back, trying to intimidate me like he always does._

_I saw the droid’s head swiveled to Teedo, then back to me, it looked intrigued by the exchanged we were having._

_At this point, I angrily moved to them, pulled out a knife from my pouch and I started cutting the droid out of the netting. Teedo freaked out at the loss of his find he had, and continued yelling me._

_I know how much he wants to me kill in that instant._

_But I suddenly stand tall, I turned to Teedo and said, fiercely “Noma.”_

_I heard him bark out loud curses. Then he went off into the desert._

_I gave a small smile at the droid when it let out a string of angry beeps, at the departing bully, provocatively._

_“Shhhh…” I quiet the droid instantly as we watched Teedo head off into wasteland._

_When he is finally out of sight, I looked down at the droid, as he beeps a question. I knelt down on the coarse sand, to take care of the machine._

_“That's just Teedo,” I said in a gentler voice. “He just wants your parts. He has no respect for anyone.” I then noticed the droid was still a little distressed._

_“Your antenna's bent,” I said as I straightened it for him._

_Curious she I gave the droid a closer look. It had a dome head, like that of R2 series astromech droids, the bulk of its body was made up of a ball on which the droid's head rolled. He looked was mostly white, with some silver and orange on its body, as well as a black photoreceptor. I knew in all my time surviving on Jakku, there was not anything like this on planet._

_“Where do you come from?” I asked the droid. I had a feeling he was lost like I was._

 

_The droid responded with a series of beeps that I understood._

 

_“Classified. Really?”_

 

_“Me too. Big secret.” I felt a pain of bitterness. It was the reason I am still on this junkyard planet._

 

_I smiled at the droid and tried to let it find its way. I knew I had to worry about tomorrow, the next place I had to scavenge. I didn’t want anything  ruining my chances of missing my family coming back. So I pointed at the horizon._

 

_“Niima Outpost is that way, stay off Kelvin Ridge. Keep away from the Sinking Fields in the north, you'll drown in the sand.” I started to make her way in the direction of my home. I didn’t make to two steps till BB-8 came back to me. He let out a string beeps as he made his way to me. He was saying that he can’t be alone and it made me turn sharply._

 

_“Don't follow me. Town is that way.” I tell him as I pointed again. Starting to regret helping BB-8. He let out another string of beeps insisting that he comes with me._

 

_“No!” I said more forcefully. I turned and tried to head off again. But BB-8, scared and confused, said in binary that he was alone, afraid and with no one else to help him get back home._

 

_That makes me stop. Feeling that pain of bitterness stronger this time, I turned to look at him. Not liking him or happy to be dragged into this situation, I reluctantly nodded my head. "Come on." Excited, BB-8 quickly moves to follow me as we headed back to my AT-AT_

 

_“In the morning, you go.” I said in gentle tone. BB-8 beeps a thank you._

_“You're welcome.”_

 

_Not knowing how drastically my life was going to change…._

My toes sank into the pelt rug covering the hardwood floor in front of the thick transparisteel, draining out the noise of the busy city planet where I now live. It’s opulent and spacious, something I never dreamed of owning. There was a time where surviving was the only thing that mattered to me. Now, I finally live the way I always should. Commanding the way someone with my power should.  
  
I continued to think about how my life kept changing from that moment. How coming across that droid had freed me from the shackles that kept me on Jakku for so long.

I sighed.

I still wondered what my younger self was thinking that day in Maz’s castle. When I was so insistent on going back to Jakku. I knew I was terrified about the power that was in me. The power that I always had.

But I still wanted to waste away on Jakku. Despite all the green I saw on Takodana. Or the fast friendships I have made.

I remember touching the lightsaber hilt and the vision I was taken into. I also remembered what followed after.

_I’m falling backwards. The images of fire with a mysterious droid and a mechanical hand on it. A masked figure with a bewitching red lightsaber. A little girl, crying out as a ship left her behind. Then another masked figure appeared right in front of me, his lightsaber ready to fight in an unfamiliar terrain._

 

_I was more frightened of that masked figure than I was with the first. It was almost as if that creature... was looking at me._

 

_“What was that?” I asked Maz who had somehow_ _materialized in front of me_ _. “I shouldn't have gone in there.” I slowly stood up, gathering my nerves and my bearings and still reeling from the images. Maz was slowly approaching towards me, from the end of the corridor, knowing what had just happened._

 

_“That lightsaber was Luke's,” She stopped right in front of me. “And his father's before him and now... it calls to you!” Her voice was loud, assured. Like she has been saving the weapon for a time._

_“I have to get back to Jakku,” I said again. I know have been wasting so much time being here. I have to make sure I am there if they come back._

 

_Maz with all her wisdom gave me that look. That look Plutt always gave me out of cruelty, Han gave me before we left the falcon._

 

_“Han told me.” She moved her googles up to her head.  She then reached out her hand to me and I took it, then keened to looking into her knowing eyes. They shined with knowledge even in the low-lit basement._

 

_“Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth.” I know the words she is going to say next. “Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back.” I feel the tears starting to come out of my eyes at her words. She said it, the thing that I have been avoiding on those sleepless nights, through the hunger pains and the sweltering heat._

 

_“But, there's someone who still could.” She said, with me knowing the answer._

_“Luke…” I said with hysterics in my voice._

 

_“The belonging you seek is not behind you.” I start feeling the same felt when I went to BB-8. “It is ahead.” She took a breath, as I tried to control my tears. “I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing.” I feel her words, even if they are upsetting me. “Close your eyes.” I saw her close them, but I couldn’t do it._

 

_I just kept thinking,_ _I must go back to Jakku… my family is coming back for me. This power…the force she is talking about, I have no time for it…._

 

_“The light. It's always been there. It will guide you….” Maz motioned to the open chest behind me. “The saber. Take it.” She said again in her soft reassuring voice._

 

_I suddenly stand. And I feel something snap inside me._

_“I'm never touching that again. I don't want any part of this.” I had to run. I had run faster than I had on Jakku, then the death gang. It’s not my path. I have to leave. All of this is not who I am._

_I make it out of the castle and heard BB-8 follow me. The little droid that has become my shadow._

 

_Not knowing where to go I run into the woods. Trying to seek comfort from all the things I had been going though._

I didn’t know it then, but my destiny was about to collide with me. What the force wanted me to embrace. I foolishly did not realize it then.

I was still in denial. Denial that my family was going to come back for me. Denial that this power I had was meant to be wielded.

I clearly remembered what happened after that. What happened when The First Order fired Starkiller…when _he_ took me.

He was same masked person I saw in my vision, he had started coming after me in the woods. he was strong and he fended off the blaster shots I sent them. He came closer to me and dogged the blaster shots I sent out again, like he was barely breaking a sweat.

He said something to me, I was too frightened to remember.  Then he froze me with the force.

And everything went black.

It was one of the few in moments in my life at that point I was truly terrified. When I had my control taken from me.

I never like not being in control. That feeling took me back to when I was at the mercy of Unkar Plutt. The mercy of the promise I always had to keep.

I knew when I woke up, I had to fight with every fiber of being to be in control again. That single thought, it screamed louder than the fear I was feeling. From when he froze me till I woke up and faced that same ugly mask again.

I just didn't realize how strong my push back would be, or how human his face really was.

_The first thing I felt was something jolting me awake. I tried to move my arms, then my legs but I was trapped. I look up and I saw that mask again. The fear started sinking in. “Where am I?” I asked the creature in front of me. It almost blended in with the wall behind him._

 

_It remained silent, kneeling in front of me, like it was studying me._

 

_“You're my guest,” it came out smoothly through its vocoder. In a creepy way, it sounded almost…. endearing._

 

_I had to keep my mind focused. It’s just like surviving on Jakku, one wrong move you could be killed. Then I instantly started think of Finn, and Han. “Where are the others?” I may have known them for a few hours but I still cared about them. I also felt guilty from running away from them._

 

_I swear I heard that creature scoff underneath its mask._

 

_“You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends?” I feel the rage and the fear growing inside of me with each and every word the vocoder in its mask was making._

 

_“You'll be relieved to hear that I have no idea.” It comes out nonchalant to me as I heard it. Then this thought in my head, it had quickly raced to the forefront of my mind._

 

_“You still want to kill me.” Again, it acts like that was a surprise._

 

_“That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask.” I made sure I poured all my fear and anger in that last statement. I stared the creature down waiting to see what it was going to say next._

 

_Instead of biting back, the creature does something unexpected. It regarded me for another second then reached with its hands to push open something._

 

_In a flash, the mask was off, and on a pedestal._

 

_In front of me stood a face, a human face… A handsome one. With dark fathomless eyes..._

_I wavered for a moment at the sight in front of me._

 

_Then I realized he wanted throw me off. I immediately went back to my defiant stare. I start felt that same sensation in the woods when he froze me. It was subtle, but I felt this invisible energy trying to...penetrate my mind. I see him come closer, but I keep looking straight ahead. I could not look into those dark eyes. I felt him around me, I know I have to stay strong._

 

_“Tell me about the droid.” His voice was smooth, nothing like I imagine. I feel his eyes on me along with that push again in my mind._

 

_“He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator--” I answered but he quickly cut me off._

 

_“He's carrying a section of a navigational chart. We have the rest, recovered from archives of the Empire. We need the last piece. And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You. A scavenger.” I felt his burn, at what I am. It’s adding to my fear, but this dark anger I felt it building inside of me._

 

_“You know I can take whatever I want.” He said in voice dripping with arrogance._

 

_I felt something strange flash though me at those words, and this flutter in my heart. It threw me off again._

 

_Then he moved closer, with his hand rising toward my face. I tried to recoil from it, but the restraints made it impossible. I felt his hand as nearly touches my face...and that strange energy pushing on my mind even harder. I suddenly felt this energy, this force matching his._

 

_But it was weak. I felt that force from him, come at me even stronger. It’s like the sweltering heat on Jakku strangling my mind. I felt the tears fall out my eyes as the man started to dig deeper._

 

_“_ _You're so lonely... so afraid to leave...” He said in smug voice. Almost laughing at my pain._

 

_“At night, desperate to sleep... You imagine an ocean. I see it. I see the island, ” I have to fight back. I knew I couldn't give him more of those thoughts. He is just so strong_

 

_“And Han Solo. You feel like he's the father you never had. He would've disappointed you.” As I heard the bitterness in voice, I felt a spark of anger at that last statement._

 

_The hold, from him I felt it wavering. He was getting impatient. His hand was still on my face, I made sure my eyes were fierce through the agony._

 

_“-- Get out of my head--” I tried to shout but it only came out in hysterics and this just made him lean closer for a brief minute. He then step back to look into my eyes, with his hand still raised._

 

_“I know you've seen the map. It's in there... and now you'll give it to me….”I hear his frustration and I feel him getting raddled. I also feel his pull getting stronger._

_“Don't be afraid. I feel it too.” I felt this flutter in my heart again. But it doesn’t throw me off this time. I felt this power, starting to flow through me. Almost feeding off the pain and fear he is making me feel._

 

_“I'm not giving you anything.” I said more confidently than before, meeting his stare._

 

_“We'll see…” He peers into my eyes intensely. I met his gaze, with the same intensity. And felt it…_

 

_The power, the force, inside of me, shooting through like wildfire. I felt that strangling on my mind starting to falter._

 

_I saw on his face that he was quickly losing control….I just need him to make a mistake. I closed my eyes as I felt the intensity of this energy around my mind._

 

_I can visualize it now._

 

_The opening._

 

_I take it._

 

_Then suddenly these images flash in front of me. The man's face in terror. This fried skeleton in melted mask….a voice, that says a name “Darth Vader….” I feel his self-doubt. I see it in his face. Now all I do is make him squirm._

 

_“_ _You... you're afraid...” I started to whisper. Gaining more confidence with the look of fear on his face. “That you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!” I said dripping with arrogance._

 

_He suddenly withdraw his hand, breaking our connection. I felt the fury in the room spike as he took a step back, confused, rattled. The strangling force finally releasing from me as his arrogant expression morphed into fear._

 

_I took a deep breath as I kept my fierce gaze on him as he abruptly stormed out._

 

_Without his mask…_

 

As I continued thinking of the past, my ankles started telling me how long I’ve been standing there. I ordered my droid, politely, to place a lounge chair in front of the scenery I’ve been looking at while I would lounged on the chair and gazed out as the sun faded completely from the sky. The night lights started to brighten up the city planet shortly after. I ordered my droid again to fetch me a blanket and some hot tea.

 

I have a tendency to be quite smug about our first meeting; how I was able to anger him with his own fear, when he least expected it. How I made him leave and visit his master without his mask on. I still get a thrill from the memory.

 

Though Kylo Ren had said nothing but truths when he was reading my mind.

 

The pain from those memories and the need to survive propelled me to cast a mind trick on the guard and escape.

 

My face morphs into another smile.

 

I then started to think about our fight on Starkiller. I remember how much I hated him for killing Han.

 

Then he nearly killed Finn…

 

I smiled again at that look upon his face…. the shock, the disbelief that I was strong enough to take the blue saber. That by birth right, should’ve been his,… but it called to me.

 

And the power I felt that started to awaken in me… in the most powerful way.

_Holding it with both of my hands, I held in awe. This power, the Force flowing through me. I saw him, Kylo Ren, looking back at me with a crazed look._

 

_I held it up with both of my hands and ignited the blue blade. I felt the blazing of the blue plasma as Kylo ignited his crimson saber._

 

_With all the anger I felt at him, for kidnapping me, killing Han and nearly killing Finn, I charged right at him, unafraid. Kylo immediately went on the defensive. He meets me at every strike as I lunged at him. I felt my anger growing with each attack, as the explosions started to happen around us._

 

_I felt Kylo’s anger growing with each counter-attack at me. I could see it in his dark eyes, the shock of my skill, the ferocity of my attacks. I felt his frustration bleeding into each of his attacks as well._

 

_We continue this dance as this cold white stuff fell, along with the branches we were tearing through. I had no idea what was going on around us. I had a feeling it had to do with the resistance._

 

_I felt his agitation as we were battling hard. He was injured from when Chewie shot him. I knew that he wasn’t at full strength, but that did not make him any less dangerous._

 

_I felt my fatigue setting in as he started to back me deeper into the forest through the trenches of the hills._

 

_Strike after strike, blow after blow, the only light in the forest were our two sabers._

 

_Red and Blue._

 

_I saw the chasm that was not far behind us opened from the explosions happening around the planet. I wavered as I saw us fast approaching it. I lunged at him again and hooked his blade, and he used his strength to push me into the new chasm._

 

_I briefly looked down then quickly looked back and I took in his feral expression with the sparks shooting out from our sabers. It was untamed, and wild. I could almost admire it._

 

_I heard his grunts as he tried push me into the void. But he surprised me when he spoke. “You need a teacher! I can show you….. the ways of the Force!”_

 

_I felt everything around us freeze. I felt the weight of his offer, along with what he was he was telling me._

 

_“The Force….” Were the only words I could utter. I closed my eyes for a long beat. I felt the power, around coming into my being. I found the power surge through giving me this new strength._

 

_When I opened them, I felt centered, fortified, and I pounded back, commanding the fight again. With single handed swipes, hitting his gnarly, spitting saber with incredible force. I became so fast now, so furious, that he fell back. I attacked harder, feeling the power of the force coursing through me like a high._

 

_His blade went flying off, tumbling into the snow. Through this frenzy I even managed to slash Kylo Ren square in the chest along with slashing his handsome face. I saw him go down. He looked up at me with disbelief and fear, as the large slash across his face bleeding violently._

 

_I could kill him, right now, with one vicious strike. Thinking of Han, Finn and countless others murdered by his hand. I could end it…. end him._

 

_But I stopped, standing on a greater edge than that of the cliff -- the edge of the dark side. I knew then that I couldn’t do it this, it would make me no better than him._

 

_I felt the planet shake as I gazed down at his prone form, I saw him mutter something before the planet began to split._

 

_Separating me and Kylo Ren._

I sighed, rubbing my black satin nightgown under my blanket. I traced the embroidered design till I made it to its lace hem. I didn’t regret turning down his offer. How could I not? He kidnapped me, killed a man who was the first person that showed me fatherly kindness and nearly killed my first real friend. Not only that, but he allied himself with an organization that murdered innocent people.  
  
No.

  
I wanted to get strong, to destroy him and the rest of First Order. I had allied myself with the Resistance to achieve that goal. I even promised General Organa to bring her brother home.

I thought my destiny was to become Jedi.

But when I met Luke Skywalker my mind started to change. About everything….

_“Again,” Luke commanded as he watched me get up from their latest sparring match. It has been a year since I had shown up on Ach-Too. A year since he reluctantly started training me…_

_I got up and resumed my starting position to fight again, needing to burn off this frustration._

_I suddenly stopped as I saw that look on Luke’s face that signaled he was done for the day. A look that I have grown used to._

_“I’m going to the caves to meditate,” I said looking at the tired old Jedi. He gave a nod and went over to the Jedi temple overlooking the ocean._

_I went over to where there was a crack in the boulder I created. With the raw power I have. I remember the look he gave me when I did that, what he said after. I never let it show, but it bothered me a great deal. More than I would allow myself acknowledge._

_It was just the first of many things that went wrong during my time here…._

_I sat down closed my eyes and my thoughts took over. The isolation was really starting to get to me. Being away from the friends I made. Not feeling the life-forces around me, not being able to talk to anyone anymore._

_Luke hardly said anything to me, only during training, after he left me on my own. It was frustrating trying connect with him, and being rebuffed at every step._

_Being on this island, I was able to reflect on my own life on Jakku. I realized how hollow my life was. How meaningless and lonely it was._

_Till I had something to fight for, someone to fight for. I thought being here was my path. It’s what Maz told me, what had to do for Han, for Finn, the Resistance…_

_But now,_ _all those hopes, the cause, were starting become meaningless to me. As I felt this power grow inside me._

_I tried to banish these thoughts as said them in my head, but they quickly moved in my mind like the Sinking Fields on Jakku. This sadly started to become a regular occurrence for me._

_I didn’t even care that my resentment is starting to build._

_When my thoughts continued to spiral further, I found myself less afraid to think them. The loneliness was the right reason to think these thoughts. Thoughts of Starkiller, my interrogation, the fight… and Kylo Ren._

_I opened my eyes to see the light disappeared from the sky. It still didn’t quell my thoughts of the dark haired man. I still think of him…_

_Those images I briefly saw in his mind, his face, the offer he gave me..._

_I loathed to say this but I thought about the last one a lot._

_My first night on this island, Luke told me about Kylo Ren. Though, it felt like more of a warning when my training started. I felt the warning as I quickly progressed with my training. The look was always there when Luke had disapproved of my actions. Or when I toed that line of the darkside._

_Then I started to imagine the way another teacher would have looked at me and my power. How unafraid he would be to teach me, unlike Luke._

_I still didn’t want to face Luke so I went to explore the island further. With same thoughts moving through my mind. I decided on the cliff where the Millennium Falcon had occupied. Watching the waves crash in front of the island, I saw how violent they were crashing against the rocky edges._

_I felt in that air that it was an omen of destruction that was to come..._

“I see you’re finally sitting down.” My attention was diverted from my endless staring to the tall imposing figure standing in the opening of the room.

Kylo Ren.

His hair was pushed back from his forehead and his curls were framed around his ears. He has a neatly trimmed mustache and beard on his pointed chin. The scar that I gave him was pronounced and it worked well with his face.  

He was dressed all in black and in his dramatic flowing robes that he usually wears when he has his military meetings. He's not wearing his gloves, I saw them tucked in his utility belt. He looks at me as he walks over to me with a smile on his normal brutish face.

“It’s nice to see you are finally home,” Irritated with him, I paid Kylo no mind and went back to my staring.

I felt his frown instantly at my answer. Sensing my irritation he quickly made his way into the giant walk-in closet and changed into a pair of black nightwear pants.

He then walked to where I was sitting and answered my question.

“Well,” He said, sarcasm edging in his tone, “you know it’s impossible to find any competent people to run the military.” Kylo then gently took my hand, massaging it. He felt the smile starting to break out on my face, as he pushed back my hair and kissed his favorite spot on my neck.

I let out a sigh of content and I felt the rest of my irritation at him melt away.

I looked up as he pulled away and saw his lips curl into a smile that reached those dark fathomless eyes.

“I just hate how it takes time away from us.” I pulled him into my arms for a long kiss that he returned with equal fever. “Come and sit with me,” I asked breathlessly when I broke the kiss.

Looking at the long lounge chair he carefully pick me up with my blanket and eased me down as he put me on top of him. Then he caged me in his powerful arms. I smiled as I listened to the heartbeat of my…husband.

I then took his hand with mine as I had all those years ago.

_I heard the heavy footsteps of someone approaching me, as I lie on the stone floor. The force around me was storming. My mind and body was still a mess from the torture that was inflicted upon me._

_Snoke, is what he called himself, the Force-sensitive male humanoid alien who served as the Supreme Leader of the First Order._

_I foolishly let my guard down at the cantina I was staying at. I was planning the next move for myself. I was consumed with my thoughts of the last few months. Learning the force, leaving the resistance…and a certain force user. I knew that I was in First Order territory, but I was counting on flying under the radar._

_I assumed I was neutral at this point._

_But force sensitivity is all the same to Supreme Leader Snoke._

_I had left Luke a year ago, after I had enough of Jedi training. It was a hopeless endeavor. Luke was paralyzed by failures of his last student. He couldn’t face his sister, and I couldn’t take anymore. I wanted to grow my power in a way that Luke never could nor wanted._

_I was able to keep his blue lightsaber._

_I went back to the Resistance but, they had changed. Finn was recovered, and running missions for them. When I saw him again I was happy, but I felt his uneasiness. At first I thought it was because he was recovering…from being a stormtrooper. What Kylo Ren had did to him._

_I only had small dose of what that man was capable of…._

_But like the others, Finn looked at me with fear. It started with him watching me practicing the force exercises. Then when we started sparring together with our perspective weapons. I was just trying to grow my powers… something I was meant to do…_

_From that point, Finn my first real friend started distance himself from me… and it hurt. It hurt more than Kylo Ren could have. He was honest…he was brutal… But honest… to me from the very beginning. Unlike Finn. He lied to me about who he was… he even tried to run away the first chance he had on Takodana._

_At least Kylo saw my value… my power was nothing to be ashamed of. That the other weaklings in the galaxy were meant to bow down to me and feared by me._

_During my time with the resistance, I started understanding him more, much to my dismay. Feeling the distrust around the members of the crew and around Finn. I knew I had to leave._

_That was months ago._

_With my eyes still closed, I felt a familiar signature in the cave. It’s him the man who has plagued my thoughts for months now._

_I felt him healing me as his leather covered hands prompted me against the hard cave wall. I stood there while my body started healing. It felt like hours._

_“I know you are awake,” I heard him speak in his rich voice. I was pretending to sleep. I had nothing left in me to fight him._

_“I unfortunately don’t have the time to indulge in this game yours.” I felt him use the force to jolt me from my feigned sleep._

_My vision was blurry at first, a mix of fire and darkness, with large dark figure, and a light face in front of me. I blink a couple of times and my eyes started to focus on the man in front of me._

_There he stood in his black robes, in the light from the molten lava in the cave. I looked up at him... slowly, I saw his belt with his weapon at the side. His gloved covered hands at his side. His chest looked bulked and defined._

_Raising my gaze on him fully, I finally saw his face. I briefly studied the scar on his face. The slash across his cheek was pronounced, like it had sliced his face in half. Then I looked into his eyes. I saw a tired, but still determined look._

_“I wouldn’t try to lie considering the compromising situation you are in scavenger. So I suggest you answer all my questions.” He commanded._

_I turned my gaze away, and then I looked into his intense stare once again. And I nodded. I was in no condition to fight him any longer. At least, not in the same way as I had before._

_“Tell me,” he asked like he already knew the answer, “why would a Resistance fighter be in First Order territory with only a light saber to herself?”_

_I looked up at him, completely defeated. “I am no longer with the Resistance. I haven’t been for the last couple of months.”_

_I saw his face morph into a smug grin. “You left because they feared you…” He stated as he took in my expression. “You felt their chains holding you back. Luke Skywalker’s teachings could never be enough for someone as powerful as you.”_

_I felt pathetic and tried to look away as the tears started to fall. But he forced me to look at his smothering gaze. He was right, just like when we first met._

_“It was just a whisper at first, but soon it started to consume you… the resentment, the anger…”  His words were said so smoothly that he almost made me feel every single one of them._

_“I felt it to,” my eyes didn’t give my shock away like they had before. I also had an inkling that he was keeping tabs on me though the force._

_“I was looking for you, after I knew you left,” his voice softened at that statement, “but Snoke--” there was a slight growl as he recalled his former master. “-- found you first.” I could feel him getting angry. Yet as I waited for his infamous tantrum to occur, his mood shifted back ever so effortlessly._

_“I know you’re conflicted, Rey,” he whispered my name, becoming much more calmer than I had ever seen him before. “I can help you... I can show you the ways of the force. Ways that will not fail you as others have.” I starting feeling the desperation bleed out him._

_Looking to the floor, then back towards him, I told him off, straightforwardly. “I may be lost but I will never be twisted by the darkside. I will not become its slave as you had.”_

_Kylo knew how much I wanted him to teach me. But I was not going to give him complete control._

_No one will ever control me._

_The youngest Skywalker’s face remained indifferent. And after what seemed like an awkward moment, he spoke at last. “ Snoke is dead.”_  
  
_My reaction was instantaneous. Dead?_  
  
_“But the galaxy is still in chaos,” Kylo continued. “Balance must be restored -- the darkside must not be feared as it always has. But, you are right. I will not let you be consumed by the darkness.”_

_I pondered my next words carefully. I wanted to trust him. Wanted to trust that he won’t hurt me like the others have. But I simply can’t for the reason that he is the villain here. Han, Finn and countless other lives hurt or taken by the very same man standing before me._

_But that is not true either. I felt his words and I know… I know he wants to and can teach me._

_I look into those deep dark eyes, my judgement made final. “I need --” I hesitated, the uncertainty filling up my mind once again. Nevertheless, I started again. “I need someone... to show me my place in all this.”_

_Kylo Ren didn’t say anything as his expression remained the same. I waited for him to respond. Instead he moves his right arm in front of him. And puts out his leather hand, as an offering._

_We both know what it means if I take it. I don’t need any help getting up. I look at his leather covered hand glowing in the fire. I thought of all the disappointments over the last two years, along with the longing and yearning I felt all of my life._

_I am done feeling that way._

_I raised my hand and clasped it with his. I felt the force  and his adoration sing as he pulled me up. He held my hand and started to guide me back onto his ship. To start my-- our new lives together._

“Rey…” I looked into those questioning eyes of the man I care deeply about. Those eyes I grew to love. “What are thinking about, my love?”  He had a knowing look on his face as he stretched his muscular arms to reach under my blanket.

My hands followed his as they came to rest on the slight swell of my abdomen.

I considered my next words. Knowing how he would react to what I was thinking about

“My past.” I simply replied. “Thinking about my choices that led me here to you…” I pressed my hand with his where our unborn child lays. “… and our son.”

Kylo gave me a loving smile as he rubbed my belly with me. “Do you remember what I told you about the past…” He said in a hushed tone. Not wanting to ruin the moment with his disdain for the topic.

“Yes.” I said looking into his eyes.

“Let the past die…” I turn to face him, placing my hand on his face as I traced his scar. The scar I gave him.  “Kill it, if you have too.” I felt his love grow with each and every word said. “That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.” I see his eyes blazing of approval as he pulled my face towards him to capture my lips with his.

Yes. I’ve made the right choice.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story. I want to thank chaoticsentiments for Bata reading this for me.
> 
> I may write from Kylo's point of view...
> 
> Leave a comment, I want to know what you liked about the story...Kudos are appreciated


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